LordBlognStuff

In the name of the moon, I will punish you! I regret nothing,...

Tue, 23 Oct 2012 22:50:00 -0400

In the name of the moon, I will punish you!

I regret nothing, but am deeply sorry for this.

So now I can use Tumblr properly?

Tue, 08 May 2012 14:29:16 -0400

This is going to continue to be a me-only [me-mostly] blog, but now you can see the stuff I like from other people’s tumblr’s reblogged at http://HuffLikesThis.tumblr.com.

Tell your friends and/or enemies!

Snail Post

Sat, 03 Mar 2012 17:43:00 -0500

So I haven’t written anything for a long time, but here’s a post that’s just full of snails. Hit the jump for all of the snail-related hijinks. All of them.

Here is a snail having a drink:

Here is a snail with a tiny stick in its mouth:

Here is a Snail Mail:

Here is a “classic” image macro about what snails have in their shells:

Here is a snail getting a kiss from a smaller snail:

Here is a snail riding its trusty steed:

Finally, here is a Snail Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbsAUq_nvxE

I hope you have enjoyed this snail post.

A Very Serious Post About Politics

Fri, 13 Jan 2012 18:35:35 -0500

I am seriously fed up with the government. All I hear from everybody is that everything is going wrong, and that the rich are in control whilst the poor suffer. Our Glorious Leader promises that change is coming/has come, but I’m still only living comfortably in my middle/upper class home with plenty of food and heat and internet. Where’s my jacuzzi? I don’t see things improving for me, and really, that’s the only realistic measurable way for me to determine how things are for everybody else. I don’t watch TV, and I don’t read the newspaper, because this way I can safely claim that my views are not being represented by the elected officials I refused to vote for as a way of protesting that politicians fail to represent my views. And speaking of protests, because things are bad, and we can’t trust the government to fix them, we need to fix things ourselves. The best method for doing so is by gathering thousands of people in locations across the country. We can’t have anybody leading these people or giving them direction, because that would too closely resemble the corporate pigdogs in charge right now. We just need to get the bodies in one place, and everything will fix itself. This is pretty much a proven fact.

Don’t get me started on The War. We’ve been fighting The Enemy for so long that it’s not even a thing people care about anymore. Or maybe The War is over and we’re fighting The Other War now? I can’t even tell. Somebody at the pub mentioned some soldiers coming home, so maybe we won. Or maybe we lost, and the terrorists are in charge of Uzbekibekibekistan now? We really should just nuke everything over in that Sand Land. That’ll teach them to mess with Good Ol’ Know-How, Gumption and Exceptionalism.

We haven’t even moved off of the tip of the iceberg, either. For every good thing that gets done by this establishment, like the continued confinement of known, proven terrorists in offshore locations (because we know what they’ve done, and we’re giving them what they deserve), something ten thousand times worse tips the scale in the opposite direction. What we really need is to tax everybody exactly the same, so that the poor who don’t even contribute to society can stop leeching off of it. If they don’t want to starve, they ought to just pull themselves up by their bootstraps and get a job! Maybe if all the poor people living off of welfare actually buck up and stop growing fat on the rest of our toil, it’d drive out all those rotten immigrants who are eating up jobs that real hardworking citizens could use. Of course, if the government had bothered to actually make more jobs by making the working conditions in this country actually tolerable, maybe we wouldn’t have unemployment problems at all! I’d suggest that the government make it illegal to outsource positions, but I wouldn’t want to get in the way of Capitalism. That’d be even worse than anything else that’s been done to this point.

Are you as angry about these issues as I? If so, post a comment on this webzone, and let me hear your voice. Fight the power!

The squeaky wheel...

Mon, 31 Oct 2011 21:30:00 -0400

…gets the brand new top notch gaming-quality laptop (3 years of back and forth complaints on the phone with Dell)

…gets over $100 in free videogame product from EA Games (1 month of back and forth complaints)

…gets the grease (30 seconds of squeaking sounds before having motor oil dumped on you)

Character 10: Ariana Rappaport

Wed, 21 Sep 2011 13:35:00 -0400

Name: Ariana Rappaport

Occupation: Librarian

Age: 64

Hair: Pinned

Years Until Retirement: 11

Instrument: Voice

Sign: Pisces

Role: The Provider

An alumna from St. Hortense’s. Completed graduate work in library science. Manages special collections in the public library. Has never been all the way through the collection. Is unmarried. Lives alone. Spends her evenings in museums and theatres. Refuses to dye her hair. Crochets a mean sock.

Character 9: Oliver Henderson

Fri, 16 Sep 2011 20:30:53 -0400

Name: Oliver Eric Henderson

Age: 21

Headgear: Bandana

Footware: Sandals

Watchware: Wristwatch (2)

Hair Care: None

Instrument: Guitar

Sign: Gemini

Role: The Voice

Grew up in a normal suburban house. Currently enrolled in the local community college. Scruffy by nature. Has many friends among the local grifters and buskers. Has natural singing talent. Doesn’t need glasses. Plays tunes on request. Carries his guitar everywhere. Does not smoke, but says he does. Is a vegetarian, but says he isn’t. Majoring in music and poetry. Not actually majoring in poetry.

Character 8: William Aberforth

Sat, 10 Sep 2011 13:32:40 -0400

Name: William Aberforth

Age: 87 (at death)

Height: 6’ Under

State: Decomposed

Instrument: Violin

Sign: Libra

Role: The First

Born in 1748. Saw the rise of the new United States. Was uninterested in mundanities of everyday life. Became big-shot explorer. Discovered multiple abandoned cities and tombs in South American rainforests. Kept meticulous journals, now lost. Letters make reference to an unknown Discovery of some sort. Retired to his home town in old age. Upon death, donated majority of money to create an educational facility. Home property now occupied by a commune.

Character 7: Horace Templeton

Sun, 04 Sep 2011 09:47:00 -0400

Name: Horace Fernsworth Templeton

Age: 72

Moustache: Bristly

Overcoat: Tweed

Instrument: Bagpipes

Demeanor: Fussy

Sign: Taurus

Role: The Keykeeper

Born the eldest of a family of nine. Was a smart boy who was drafted for the war at eighteen. Came home a decorated hero after saving his wounded commanding officer while under heavy fire. Completed higher education at the prestigious Geraldswarf University, graduating at the top of his class. Did postgraduate work in linguistics and Byzantine history. Taught university students for two decades. Entered semi-retirement by taking a position as headmaster of Aberforth’s Preparatory Academy for Young Boys, the brother school to St. Hortense’s. Absolutely despises bananas.

Intermission

Mon, 22 Aug 2011 15:23:33 -0400

My workload has quadrupled and will continue to be so for about a week. I am placing the increasingly-misnamed Character-a-Day project on hold for about that time.

Oh hey, what’s this?

Character 6: Jacob Galavant

Tue, 16 Aug 2011 20:21:58 -0400

Name: Jacob Galavant

Age: 12

Socks: Mismatched

Knees: Muddy

Hat: Backwards

Instrument: Kazoo

Sign: Sagittarius

Role: The Scrapper

Sundries: Attends the local public school. Lives in the part of town that might arguably be described as “rougher” but this is a relative term. Parents deliver goods to the commune as part of their job. Has a sock-dwelling pet rock named ‘Bonk’ “on accounta what happens when he gets angry.” Is missing a tooth but it is only a baby tooth. Claims he lost it “taming lions.” Wears lace-less shoes because he doesn’t know how to tie his laces, a secret shame.

Character 5: Amelia Ipswach

Sun, 14 Aug 2011 21:40:39 -0400

Name: Amelia Ipswach

Age: 28

Profession: Teacher

Hair: Frizzy

Nerves: Frizzy

Instrument: Piano

Sign: Capricorn

Role: The Factory

Sundry: Teacher of Linguistics and Home Economics at St. Hortense’s Preparatory Academy for Young Women. Secretly dislikes the headmistress but is afraid to let anybody know. Is currently single and not happy about it. Has a furious knitting habit but is mortified that a young man might find out and deem her boring. Enjoys children as long as they are well behaved. Only speaks with her parents on birthdays and holidays. Had higher hopes than the ones she achieved. Smokes one cigarette a week and feels guilty about it.

Character 4: Allouette Gendebine

Sun, 14 Aug 2011 00:42:34 -0400

Name: Allouette Gendebine

Eye Colour: Green

Age: 12

Year: 6th Grade

Favourite animals: Spittlebug and Kiwi Bird

Sign: Aquarius

Instrument: Clarinet

Role: The Eyes

Sundries: Attends St. Hortense’s Preparatory Academy for Young Women. Hates wearing school uniforms. Favourite meal is spaghetti and meatballs. Draws pictures of cows wearing hats in her notebooks. Unusually observant, even for a young child. Has played her instrument for six years but does not practice as often as she should. Placed first in the school spelling bee but forgot the trophy in a classroom and never found it. Better at snooker than a child of twelve has any right to be due to a parental-fostered interest. Prefers all of her shoes to have buckles on them.

Character 3: Rufus

Wed, 10 Aug 2011 19:05:34 -0400

Name: Rufus

Eye Colour: Brown

Fur: Brown

Age: 8

Instrument: Barks

Sign: Leo

Role: The Nose

Sundries: Born in a litter of 6. Was neither the dominant nor the runt. Adopted by current as-yet unnamed family at age of 8 months. Prefers his collars to be red but has no real say in the matter. Will not chase cars because he realizes it is a dumb idea, still dreams of one day catching one. Proficient at sitting, laying down, heeling, shaking, fetching (slippers and newspaper, which he paws through most days but only for the pictures) and tracking. Self-taught in three of these fields but he won’t say which. Prefers to be scratched just above the tail. Secretly finds cat food delicious.

Character 2: Brian Sedgwick

Tue, 09 Aug 2011 17:35:00 -0400

Name: Brian Gerald Sedgwick

Height: 6’11”

Accoutrements: Eyeglasses

Age: 37

Instrument: French Horn

Preferred Meal: Roast Beef

Sign: Cancer

Blood Type: AB+

Role: The Researcher

Sundries: A writer but not one that you’d have heard of. Skillful at his craft but does not care to publish. Greying at the temples. Dislikes include neckties and unkempt fingernails. Independently wealthy via inheritance. Employed by a university. Students unsure what he teaches as nobody seems to have any classes with him. Keeps a collection of glass ladybugs on a windowsill in his office. Can hear punctuation. Dating a girl at present without backstory, whom he met at a municipal event. Has a weakness for brandy and tweed.

Character 1: Apple Martingale

Mon, 08 Aug 2011 21:13:37 -0400

Name: Apple Martingale

Eye Colour: Shifting

Hair: Light Brown and worn in pigtails

Age: 19?

Favourite Colour: Flange

Instrument: Lyre

Sign: Virgo

Role: The Sun

Sundries: Lives in a commune-farm with her sixteen brothers and sisters who are not important enough to be named here. Is a vegan. Was homeschooled by her mother and father in the important topics, like how much moonbeams weigh, the proper mapping of ley-lines and how to step lightly upon the Earth. Does not use contractions. Likes to name inanimate objects. Assumes that everybody is her friend. Has a surprisingly expansive vocabulary. Does not wear shoes unless absolutely necessary and sometimes even not then. Unfailingly cheery to the point where it can be tiresome. Refers to the Earth as a “spaceship”. Has a pet baby piglet named Spectropolis. Cheerfully oblivious to reality.

Character-a-Day Project

Mon, 08 Aug 2011 21:11:47 -0400

I am going to outline ten characters that I will create over the next ten days, with one being posted every day. These characters might be a prelude to something exciting!*

*No they won’t.

Why Google+ is Silly and Probably Won't Last

Mon, 18 Jul 2011 22:58:00 -0400

Today, a post that is about Current Events and not something esoteric.

I’m not a professional expert on Social Networking, but I’ve generally been good at calling the tech industry. Here’s my latest prediction: Google+ isn’t going to be a thing that lasts.

“Wait, wait!” you cry. “Google+ is a Google product! It can’t possibly fail!” You are wrong, and Google Wave will back me up on this.

Disclaimer: the following only applies to English-Speaking countries.

The reasons Google+ will fail are actually quite simple, and are as follows:

1) People. Social networking pages only succeed if they can achieve a critical mass of users. People aren’t going to use a page that none of their friends are on. Facebook dominates the market right now, and everybody who wants to be socially networked is likely on Facebook already. Although Google+ has reached a userbase of 10 million in the short time it has existed, this is a drop in the bucket compared to Facebook’s 750 million. To make use of a social network worthwhile, a mass exodus from the current leader is required. What gives reason for such an exodus? That leads us to…

2) Killer apps. Google+ provides no real killer apps over the current market king that will serve to draw users in other than the initial novelty of it being a product produced by Google. When MySpace was the dominant force in Social Networking, Facebook lured users away with a few key differences that made them stand apart from the competition and were clearly visible to the most dunderheaded user.

MySpace allowed users nearly complete freedom to customize their homepages however they wanted, and as a result nearly every MySpace page was something that no person would ever want to look at: music that instantly played upon loading, Geocities-lite Web 1.0 flashing backgrounds, low-resolution animated GIFs, &c. Facebook took that control away, streamlining everything and making all pages identical and easy to use. Furthermore, they offered… Apps! The applications that one could use with Facebook were a novel idea, and MySpace had nothing of the sort.

Sadly, Google+ has nothing to truly set itself above Facebook in the same fashion. “Hangouts,” one of the more-hyped features, are simply multi-user videochats. Such a thing that has been possible for some time through commonly-used programs such as internet phone juggernaut Skype, and Google+’s version at time of writing is not what one would call secure: anybody who knows the URL can join a call. If one has a full range of Google products, such as an Android phone, a Gmail account, and more, Google+ integrates nicely with all of these, but is this something an average user will take advantage of? Are these things enough to lure a critical mass away from Facebook?

3) Time Commitment. As stated in point #1, everybody who wants to be on a social networking page is already on Facebook. They have already made a substantial time investment into Facebook: thousands of photographs have been uploaded, videos have been shared, and comments posted and “liked”. It is a daunting task to re-establish this amount of work on a new page, especially when it offers nothing amazing over what one has now.

I could go over the controversies that have already begin to plague Google+, such as requiring one’s real name and gender at sign-up, but as Facebook has had its own share of scandal I feel this is rather unnecessary to go into in detail. I might also warn everybody of the dangers of allowing Google to control as much information as we have allowed them to, but Professor Siva Vaidhyanathan of the University of Virginia already has written a stellar book detailing the subject in greater depth and with more expertise than I could hope to do here.

Perhaps I’m wrong, and Google+ will grow to dominate the social networking scene, but I don’t see it happening. For now, let’s just sit back and hold off on the Google+ victory speeches, shall we?

Oh deer, what have we here?

Mon, 30 May 2011 00:38:18 -0400

Oh deer, what have we here?

Om Nom Nom

Fri, 13 May 2011 17:10:00 -0400

Note: The following was originally posted on the old LordBlognStuff page on Sunday, April 24, 2011. You may read the original article here.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Mister Walter Disney